


Seize the Day

by silbecoo



Category: Young & Hungry
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-04-24 09:24:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4914043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silbecoo/pseuds/silbecoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabi isn't the only one who can pack up and leave when things get uncomfortable, but Josh is delusional if he thinks she won't follow him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**A/n: There's something about cheesy ABCFamily shows that just pulls me in. I don't know what it is really. I think Gabi and Josh are sweet and adorable.**

Gabi wasn't the only one that could pack up and leave. He was a self employed millionaire, he could damn well take off whenever he wanted. He hated that she had a good reason for abandoning him, a good reason for still keeping him at arm's distance when she came back. He hated that he couldn't be mad at her, not really. More than that, he hated that he didn't love her any less now than in those bliss filled moments of ignorance before he'd gotten her soul crushing voicemail.

At first he told himself it was only a short visit to see his mother, that he would make it a long weekend, spend a few nights in his childhood bedroom and look up a few friends from high school. He was kind of a legend there, it would be salve for his wounded ego.

He dropped in on his mother, surprising her in the kitchen. The smell of cinnamon hanging in the air had transported him back to age five, sitting on the counter as she rolled out her snicker doodles. He'd never talked much about his mother with anyone, although Gabi had managed to pry loose a few accidental remarks, usually in the middle of feeding him some intensely caloric and delicious thing. His mother's specialty was anything and everything baked, and Gabi was the only person who ever came close to replicating the taste of home his mother was able to create. It was no surprise to anyone that he was an adorably tubby kid, double fisting muffins and sneaking into the cookie jar when no one was looking.

When he walked through the back door (not the front door, that was for guests and holidays) his mother dropped her flour covered hands to her apron in surprise, absentmindedly using the red checked material to wipe them off. The motion was familiar and so simple, a twinge of sadness zipping through him as he stepped into her eager embrace.

"Josh! It's so good to see you. What are you doing here?"

Relief coursed through him when he heard the greeting. Today was a lucid day, or so it seemed. Her eyes sparkled as she smiled at him, full recognition in her features. He needed her to be present today, and thanked God she was. He gave her a squeeze, wanting desperately to pour out his heart, to cry tears of lonely frustration on her shoulder. Instead he pasted a fake smile on his face, unable to infuse his voice with real happiness. "I just missed you... missed this."

He gestured to their surroundings, taking in the warm glow of the yellow lights in the kitchen, the sound of music drifting in through doors to the living room. She listened to show tunes when no one was around, singing at full volume and twirling around in her socks as her voice warbled along with the recording.

Her eyes narrowed at the wistful tone in his voice. He wore his emotions on his sleeve, he knew that. Trying again, he cleared his throat. "I just had to get away from the insanity of the city... the coast... California is just so... exhausting."

In a way it was true. At heart Josh was a midwestern boy, liking the quiet empty streets of his hometown more than the bells and whistles of the street cars in San Fran. He'd spent hours and hours sitting in his room writing code, hacking into databases for fun. The quiet serenity of his cramped bedroom was a pleasant environment to work in, one that he couldn't seem to recreate in his penthouse. His life had taken him so far away, and it felt good to be here, like a warm blanket draped across his shoulders as he sipped on hot chocolate.

His quiet answer didn't satisfy Beth Kaminski though. She simply reached up and brushed the hair back from his forehead, taking a good look at her boy. "I have a fresh batch of muffins about to come out, a test run for the Christmas baskets in making this year." She pulled a chair out from the kitchen table. "We'll have a tasting... and you can tell me all about her."

Josh looked around. She was cooking, alone? The oven was set to three hundred and fifty degrees, a little light bulb inside illuminating the sugar crystals forming on the tops of her muffins. His eyes flicked up to the digital readout, relaxing a tiny bit at the sight of the timer ticking away. "Where's Mrs. Peters?"

The live-in nurse was supposed to be here at all times, in case his mother got confused, in case she couldn't remember which medicines she'd taken. He paid Andrea Peters, and well he might add, to make sure his mother stayed safe and happy.

"She's in the garden, pulling weeds."

His shoulders dropped, tension flowing out. He'd been spoiling for an argument, something to rail about so he could forget the anguish pulling at him from all angles. Instead he sat down in the chair, looking at his mother rather sheepishly.

Of course she knew something was up, she'd been so inquisitive when he'd told her about breaking things off with Caroline. Too inquisitive, really. She'd never shown an interest in the aloof beauty before. He'd decided not to mention Gabi then, for fear that she could read his thoughts on the sound of his voice. But now it was different, there was nothing to lose, nothing to gain. It just was. And he needed to get it all out in the open.

"She's the most amazing person, all sunshine and optimism, and so  _so_ full of love for everyone around her." He smiled, unable to keep the warmth from pooling in his stomach, spreading out through his limbs like heated honey. "But she's a total disaster, stumbling blindly through life, dragging everyone around her into these ridiculous situations. She makes my life... She makes it feel like everything's in high def, colors are brighter, food tastes better..."

His mom was frowning now, the corners of her carefully painted mouth pulling down in confusion. "Then what's the problem, Josh?"

"I'd do anything for her, and I mean  _anything._ "

" _That's_  a problem?"

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair until it was standing on end. "She has big dreams, things she's thought about since she was little, things that I could probably hand to her on a silver platter with as little as a few phone calls."

Understanding finally dawned on the older woman. She nodded sadly. "But she would hate that."

"Yeah."

"And you can't  _not_ help her?"

"I just want her to be happy. Why can't she see that? She'd have everything she ever wanted. Is that such a bad thing?"

"Josh, sweetheart, I love you but sometimes you're an idiot."

* * *

Gabi's first though when she walked into Josh's apartment, was that something was not quite right. The lights in the living room were off, no rustling sound of other people milling around going about their morning. It was still and silent, and more than a little unsettling.

Her heels clicked on the tile of the kitchen, echoing strangely in the quiet. She could even hear the ticking of the clock on the wall, each second passing with an audible click. Dropping her bag on the floor, she reached for the ipad on the kitchen counter, unlocking it with the deft swipe of two fingers.

Josh's breakfast order was nowhere to be found, the message screen a glowing white expanse. She'd gotten so used to him using the thing to send her thank you notes and various non-food related anecdotes, that her heart sank when there was nothing.

She pulled out her phone, to see if she was somehow missing something integral, but it was still dead. She heard a faint noise coming from upstairs. Someone was singing, off key, to Alanis Morrisette, voice cracking on the higher notes. It was definitely not Josh.

Her feet carried her up the steps, two at time, before she could even think about what she was doing, the sound getting louder the closer she got to Josh's bedroom.

The music seemed to be coming from Josh's bathroom specifically, the caterwauling singer getting louder as the song reached its peak. Looking around for a weapon, Gabi snatched up one of Josh's umbrellas before cautiously pushing the bathroom door open a crack and peering in.

There was someone in the jacuzzi tub, filled to the brim with foamy bubbles. Feeling brave she lunged into the room, umbrella held up for protection.

She was greeted by a blood curdling scream and the sopping wet slap of a loofah hitting her right in the face. It was quickly followed by shampoo bottles and bars of soap flying through the air, most of them thudding harmlessly in the floor in front of her.

"What the hell are  _you_  doing here! Get out, get out, get out!"

"Elliot?"

He glared at her, readjusting the bubbles for maximum coverage. "Yes Elliot." He gestured at her, talking to himself. "It can see... If only it knew how to knock."

She dropped the umbrella, confusion replacing the fear on her face. Wiping away the errant bubbles, she asked, "Where's Josh?"

"You didn't get his email?"

Suddenly Gabi was sheepish. "Well, uh, you see my phone was dead and I couldn't find my charger, and I kind of maybe don't have internet at home because I forgot to pay-"

"Oh my god, I don't care about your day to day failure at adulthood." He rolled his eyes, weighing bath beads in his heads as though he were contemplating throwing them at her too. "Josh went to see his mom, he won't be back until next week. I'm house sitting, and unless you're going to make me french toast, your services are  _not_ required."

"His mom?" Filled with frank curiosity, she took a step toward the tub. Josh almost never spoke about her, and when he did there was always a wistfully nostalgic tone to his voice, almost the same as when she spoke of her own mother. It kind of broke her heart, but she knew not to pry about things like this.

Elliot threw his hand but, halting her forward motion. "Not an inch closer!"

She rolled her eyes, spinning in her heel to leave. Hand on the doorknob, she paused, "Who takes a bubble bath at eight in the morning?"

"GET OUT!"

* * *

It only took three days of Josh not responding to her texts for Gabi to starting googling him… deep googling. Someone had scrubbed the internet clean of any background information. Undergrad was as far back as she could go, and it was there that she found a tiny blurb in a school newspaper that mentioned his hometown. Some blink-and-you-miss-it little community two hours outside of Chicago.

And yet, there still wasn't any concrete information that this is where his mother actually lived now. She pulled up google maps, just out of curiosity, to see how long the drive from San Francisco to Chicago was. Her eyes widened at the screen. Shit… over two thousand miles. Driving out there on a whim was not an option.

Another two days passed before she was pricing plane tickets… just pricing… she didn't actually have five hundred dollars laying around. All of this was just enough to distract her from what she really wanted to think about. Why had he left? It couldn't be because of her. They were on seemingly good terms the last time they'd spoken, a bit awkward, but in a good place.

She frowned, tapping at the keyboard absentmindedly. Maybe it was odd that Josh was able to go from absolutely crushed to acceptance in such short conversation. The days after had been hectic and too full of tasks to really stop and talk. They'd existed in each other's space, but barely interacted. Had she been oblivious?

The front door to her apartment, Sophia nearly kicking it down as she struggled with her bags. "A little help, Gabi?"

Gabi snatched up a few of the falling bags. "What is all of this stuff?"

"Um… groceries… hello?" She swung a canvas tote filled with apples in Gabi's general direction. "You said you'd help make pies for the charity bake sale at my new firm."

Gabi set her bags down with a thunk on the kitchen counter. "Oooh, right, right… I forgot."

"Gabi, what is with you? I've been talking about this all week. I need to make a good first impression with these people."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry… I'll get right on it."

Sophia, stopped, slowly putting down the rest of her bags. "Is something wrong?"

Gabi bit her bottom lip, wondering how much she should tell her friend. "Josh is gone."

"Yeah.. vacation.. so what?"

"I don't think it's a vacation. I think he ran away."

"Um, what now? Can you repeat that?"

"He ran away, from… me."

"That's a little dramatic, even coming from you."

"He won't answer my texts, or my emails. It's like he dropped off the face of the planet, except he hasn't. Elliot still talks to him almost every day. Which I know, because the psychotic little publicist likes to text me and rub it in my face." She was wringing her hands now, beginning to pace back and forth. Her worry was spiraling. "What if he never comes back? What if he moves to Chicago and creates another startup there? I'm sure he'll find a new personal chef. Chicago is crawling with chefs! Sophia, what the hell am I gonna do?"

"Alright, calm down, jesus. You're like a runaway freight train sometimes."

Stopping abruptly, she turned to Sophia, a bright smile spreading across her face. "That's it! Soso Rodriguez, you're a genius!"

Sophia narrowed her eyes, approaching her excited roommate slowly. "What?... I mean, I know I am, but… why exactly do you think so at this very moment?"

"Because… I can't drive to Chicago, it's like a million miles, and plane tickets are outrageously expensive… but I know I can get a round trip train ticket for a reasonable price."

"You're  _not_  going to Chicago. You don't even know where he's at. I have  _pies_  you need to make!"

Gabi was already on the computer, happily clicking away. "Don't worry. My train doesn't leave until Monday… I have plenty of time to make your pies, and torture Elliot until he gives me Josh's mom's address."


	2. Chapter 2

Purchasing the least expensive train ticket possible may have been the most practical choice, but the God-awful crick in Gabi's neck made her think she was going to regret it. Sure, private quarters would have probably maxed out her one and only credit card, but at least she'd look fresh as a daisy for her first time meeting Josh's mom. As it was, she looked more like a squashed dandelion, her hair in a messy bun on top of her head.

The porters at the train depot gave her mildly disgusted glances as she stumbled onto the platform, dragging her beat up overnight bag behind her. They'd certainly be getting no tips from her today.

She dug her phone from her pocket, frowning at the little roaming symbol. If she couldn't afford a sleeping car, she definitely couldn't afford roaming charges on her phone bill. She turned it off, and walked to the nearest ticket counter, smiling as brightly as she could manage.

"Hello, yes. Do you know the quickest- scratch that. Do you know the cheapest way for me to get to..." She trailed off, digging down in her bag for the slip of paper Elliot had angrily thrust at her. Finding it, she yanked it out of the bag. "Wilbur Falls?"

The girl behind the counter barely looked up from her computer screen, jerking her head in the direction of the departures board. "If it's not on there, you're out of luck."

Gabi shook her head. "No listen, I know the trains don't go there. I just wanted some help... from a local?"

This earned her a long suffering look and what Gabi would call a totally unnecessary sigh. Luckily it was paired with a little piece of cardstock sliding across the counter. "This is the main bus line, give them a call. There's a good chance they can get you where you need to be. There's a pay phone by the exit. Good luck."

And with that, Gabi had been dismissed, rather adroitly. The next person in line was already shuffling her out of the way. In spite of everything, she was impressed with the woman's ability to rid herself of a nuisance. Gabi vowed she would try the same technique the next time Elliot started whining about the amount of cinnamon she put in her French toast batter.

The call to the bus line ended with her credit card being strained a little more than she'd intended, but she was certain an Uber or a taxi would have eaten into her rent money, so a comparatively cheap two hour bus ride would have to do, even if the person sitting next to her decided to take his shoes off twenty minutes in, and not put them back on until the bus was rolling to a stop by a lonely bench in Wilbur Falls. (She wasn't sure she'd ever be able to use Lindbergh cheese again without thinking of the unkempt shoeless gentlemen, but then again she just had to resign herself to some things.)

Finally, as the sun was just beginning to dip down below the horizon, a pink and gold glow of rays shooting out across the sky, she stepped onto solid ground once again. Wilbur Falls was picturesque if a bit small. The streets were lined with beautifly wrought iron light posts interspersed with perfectly pruned little trees. The shop fronts had hand lettered sandwich boards advertising the deal of the day out front, and there were even happy old couples walking arm and arm down the cracked sidewalks.

She had no idea where the hell she was, and even hastily scrawled address in her hand was little help. She didn't know where Inglewood Avenue was, let alone which house on it belonged to Beth Kaminski.

Praying the circles under her eyes weren't all that noticeable (they totally were, she'd been on a train for two days and had only had approximately six hours of sleep) she slipped into a cute little drug store, pushing her sunglasses up on her head.

She walked curiously through the store, poking at various objects lining the shelves. For a drugstore, this place sure had more than its fair share of kitsch. She was peering at collection of glass figurines (frogs in various un-frog-like positions) finger tracing the edge of one froggie playing a violin, when a cheerful voice piped up.

"Hello there dear, how may I help you today?"

She jumped, catching the edge of the figuring and watching in horror as it plummeted to the floor. She'd never heard anything quite so nerve wracking as the glass shattering against the tile. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I'll pay for that. I'm such a klutz."

She was digging in her bag once again, when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. Somehow the pharmacist had made his way from behind the counter, smiling down at her as he held a broom and dustpan. She could only gaze up at the lanky gentleman guiltily, feeling the beginnings of an unattractive bout of tears. Good lord, how exhausted was she?

"Don't worry about it, looks like I gave you quite the shock. We'll call it even."

Gabi stepped back from the mess, mouth falling open as she watched the man calmly sweep the glass up. She was speechless, people in San Francisco were nowhere near this laid back, in spite of the many pot dispensaries on every corner.

She stared down at the top of his balding head, trying to think of a way to atone for her mistake, feeling more inclined to do so in the face of such lovely tolerance. She smiled, thinking of just the thing. "Do you like cookies?"

Before he could answer, she was pulling a tupperware bowl out of her bottomless bag, holding the offering in front of her as he rose from the floor. He was looking at her somewhat quizzically over the rim of his wire framed glasses.

"I'm a chef, and I made them for my boss, because I think he's a little mad at me, but he doesn't really like raisins all that much so you might as well take them."

She thrust the bowl toward him, ignoring the fact that his hands were full. He just continued to smile at her. "How wonderful. Why don't you just set them on the counter, I'll be right back."

And with that he was gone, leaving her alone. It was all very odd. No stores in the city would ever do something like this, definitely not without half a dozen cameras trained on the aisles.

He popped back in a matter of minutes, unwavering smile still pulling at his cheeks as he opened the container. "Oh wow, these look wonderful, are you sure your boss won't miss them?"

"Um, no... actually he doesn't know I'm here. That's what I need help with. I have his mom's address but I have no idea where it is."

She offered the slip of paper to him. His eyes lit up. "Josh Kaminski is your boss? What a small world. I didn't know he was back in town. You'll have to tell him to stop by, my daughter's been dying to meet him."

"You know where Mrs. Kaminski lives?"

He nodded happily, taking a cookie out to taste. "Actually I have a delivery for her, you could come with, two birds with one stone and all."

Gabi eagerly accepted his offer, waiting patiently as he closed up shop. Wilbur Falls seemed like a magical place, full of helpful people and postcard looking streets. It felt good to be here.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Josh loved his mother, there was no question of that. He paid her bills and visited as often as his business would allow. But it was hard, being with her on the days when she didn't know who he was. Then his love felt like a one way street.

Her doctor had explained her condition to him as much as possible. It wasn't Alzheimer's exactly, but it was dementia, and it came and went. No cure really, just good days and bad ones, and even the bad ones could be okay if everyone knew what to do.

The key was to play along. His mother was happy in whatever world she lived in, as long as that world wasn't pulled apart at the seams by well meaning people trying to correct her. It was painful for Josh when she thought he was the neighbor boy she paid to mow the lawn, or the postman late for his delivery.

Today was one of those days. She'd been calling him Benjamin since breakfast. As far as delusions went, this one was perhaps the most bearable. Benjamin was her little brother, the one that died in his early twenties, some kind of vehicular accident. She looked at him with adoration and tried to coddle him like she'd always done little Benji. It was fine, he could deal with it, and there was always Nurse Peters there to give him a consoling pat on the shoulder when he started to feel a little tense.

The day was almost over anyway, soon his mother would retire to her bedroom, watching old episodes of 'I Love Lucy' as Nurse Peters took her through her nighttime rituals. Then Josh could relax, sink into the new software he'd been developing, make some business calls, let Elliot know he was still alive.

He just had to get through dessert. The confection on his plate was inviting, although not nearly as delectable as the muffins he'd devoured on his first evening here. This dish was not his mother's, but something Nurse Peters had picked up at the market. The lattice crust apple pie was a little flavorless, and Josh heaped a generous dollop of whipped cream on top of it.

His mother reached for his hand, squeezing it gently as she looked at him. "Benji, when are you going to make an honest woman out of sweet Daisy and settle down? You would be such a wonderful father."

He blushed, batting the image of Gabi away. It didn't disperse, in fact it sharpened, the image of her carrying his child popping into his mind for good measure. The fact that there was once a time in his life when that was a possibility never ceased to amaze him. Sure, he'd felt panicky, sweating through his undershirt at the very idea. He'd barely known her at the time, but now... He banished the thought from his mind.

He cleared his throat. "Um, well, you know how Daisy is."

She nodded. "I know, I know... independent spirit and all. I just don't want you to miss out."

Josh pushed the pie around on his plate, shoulders dropping. This was uncomfortably close to reality. He commented softly, "Neither do I."

Just as he was about to excuse himself, the melodic tone of the doorbell rang through the house. Beth pushed back excitedly from the table, smiling at Josh. "Who could it be?"

She was like a gleeful child, nearly skipping to the door, stopping only a brief moment to check her hair in the mirror before swinging it open. Josh felt his heart thud fast against his sternum when he saw Gabi standing beyond the entryway, the light of the porch turning her golden locks into a fuzzy halo. God he'd missed her, and kicked himself for not responding to her messages. Of course she would turn up here.

He tried to speak, but found it impossible, the words catching in his throat. His mother saved him the trouble, lunging forward to capture Gabi in a bear hug. "Oh Daisy, I'm so happy you've come round. Benji and I were just talking about you."

Josh's eyes widened. Shit! What the hell was he supposed to do? Gabi knew nothing about his mother's condition, and it would be impossible to explain it to her right now. Josh waited for things to get awkward and argumentative. As soon as Gabi contradicted Beth there would either be a sea of confused tears or a whole lot of raised voices.

Neither happened, because Gabi's arms simply threaded around his mother's waist, hugging her back warmly. "It's so nice to see you Mrs. Kaminski."

His mother snorted, pulling back to take a good look at her new 'Daisy.' "Oh dear, call me Beth. No need to be so formal, especially since we're practically family." She looked over her shoulder to wink at Josh.

He groaned, watching his mother lead Gabi inside. He turned to the pharmacist standing on the front porch, grinning ear to ear as he handed over the bag of prescriptions. "Hey, Mark, could you, um... maybe keep this whole scene to yourself."

The older man nodded, still grinning stupidly. "Of course, of course, not a problem."

Josh closed the door quietly, knowing full well the list of people visiting his mother's house would be all over town before the sun even came up the next day. So much for getting away from it all.

****

a/n: any and all comments or feedback is greatly appreciated.

****


	3. Chapter 3

Possibly for the first time in her life, Gabi was stunned speechless. It had been so long since someone had hugged her like this, all soft motherly affection accented with the warm scent of spiced vanilla.

Beth Kaminski was a slight woman, a few inches short of Gabi's own height, soft brown curls piled on top of her head, yet Gabi felt small in her arms. And when Beth took her by the hand, she went quietly, eyes finding Josh's as they passed. He looked alarmed, following close behind.

"You're just in time for dessert, dear." Beth said, rounding the dining room table gracefully. She looked pointedly at Josh. "Benji, be a dear and go get Daisy a piece of pie. It should still be on the counter."

Gabi blinked, slowly easing down into one of the chairs. Benji? Daisy? What the hell was going on? She'd been too caught up in her warm welcome to register the odd greeting she'd received, but now she wondered if maybe she'd gotten sucked through a black hole, popping up in an alternate universe.

Josh hesitated, reluctant to leave the two of them alone. All the more strange. Gabi looked to Josh for some kind of explanation. "B-Benji?"

He looked frazzled, eyes manically wide, fake smile plastered across his face. "Yes, Daisy what is it?"

Josh willed her to play along, voice strained. He had a white knuckled grip on the back of the chair in front of him. Something wasn’t right here, and Gabi instinctively put out feelers, hoping to ease Josh’s apparent anxiety. "Do you need some, uh... help in there... in the kitchen?"

He pounced on the opportunity to talk to her alone. "Uh, yes yes, of course. You know me. I don't know the difference between a pie server and a butter knife."

She nodded, smiling sweetly at Mrs. Kaminski. "We'll be right back."

She followed Josh into the kitchen, a million questions on the tip of her tongue. All of them fled as he whirled on her, a deep frown marring the smooth lines of his face.

"What the _hell_ are you doing here?" He whispered the words angrily. She had a feeling he would be yelling if his mother wasn’t in the other room.

"You wouldn't answer my calls or return my texts.” On the defensive, Gabi couldn’t keep a certain amount of whine out of her voice, hearing it pitch up higher as she continued. “I had no idea what was going on."

"And you had to dash halfway across the country to check up on me? You couldn't just ask Elliot?"

She was taken aback. Josh was angry, but it seemed like a cover for something else. Every time he paused his eyes flitted to the swinging kitchen door.

"I _did_ ask Elliot, and all he would tell me is that you were visiting your mom."

"And?"

"That doesn't explain why you're icing me out."

"So you had to come invade my privacy? Stick your nose where it doesn't belong?"

"Josh, I thought we were friends..." She was hurt, panic starting to build in her chest. She'd been worried all along that he was pretending to be okay, that eventually resentment for her rejection would boil over. Her voice was brittle now, on the verge of tears in spite of fighting it. "I missed you."

He softened, shoulders dropping as he stepped closer to her. A long sigh eased out of him, resignation written all over his face. "We are friends... I just... I don't know what that means now, and I need to get my head straight before we slip back into our old relationship."

She nodded, clearing the sudden lump that was stuck in in her throat. “I know… it’s hard.” If they were being honest she could at least admit to herself that she didn't know how to be friends with him either.

They had tried before to put any and all romantic notions behind them. But all interactions had still been awkward, her worrying that she was being insensitive to him, him trying not to say anything that could be misconstrued. And god, if he were just some guy who worked at Starbucks, some average Joe who lived paycheck to paycheck chasing an unfulfilled dream, she could have jumped right into his arms when he'd declared his feelings. They could have struggled together, finding their way as peers... But things were just so unbalanced between them. His successes made her self conscious, made her feel inferior at times. She had to make it herself, no one else could do it for her.

And yet here she was, following him halfway across the country, like there was an invisible thread strung between them, pulling taut just under her ribs. It was a familiar feeling, much like the unexpected homesickness she’d felt while working in Switzerland, the ache nestled just beneath her sternum when she thought of San Francisco… of Josh. She was beginning to realize that maybe the city wasn't what she'd been missing all along...

Distraction had plagued her in the kitchen. The flambe disaster had only been the biggest in an endless string of mistakes. Mistakes that were decidedly un-Gabi-like. The kitchen was her forte, the one place where confidence rolled off her in waves when she got in a really good groove. It wasn't the place where she clumsily fumbled and became a danger to herself and others. At least it hadn't been before.

Lost in thought, embarrassment seeped into her, arms crossing defensively. Backing away, she bumped into the counter, jostling the pie server sitting on the edge. The stainless steel implement flew into the floor, sharp tip wedging in the hardwood floor with a quick swish as the serrated edges passed dangerously close to her toes.

"Careful, Gabi." Josh plucked the spade shaped knife from the flooring, tossing it into the sink. 

She had to change the subject, looking too closely at their relationship made her jittery. “Who is Daisy?”

Josh blew out a long breath, exhaustion coloring his words. “I don’t really know.”

“And Benji?”

“My uncle Benjamin. He died the year before I was born. I think Daisy might have been his fiance.”

“Ah.” There it was. The effusive welcome Gabi received made sense now. She closed the space between them, touching his arm, voice filled with sympathy. “Is it like this all the time?”

He shook his head. “It’s impossible to predict, but it’s usually best if... “ He trailed off, feeling a little awkward. “If you just play along, kind of like--”

“Improv!”

“Well not exact--”

“Why Benjamin, I do declare, you look dashing this evening.”

“We’re not in civil war era Georgia, Gabi… reign it in.”

“Gabi? Who’s Gabi? I’m Daisy.” She flipped her hair. “Your affianced.”

Flouncing over to the counter, she started looking through drawers. Plucking a clean butter knife from one reserved for utensils,, she happily chattered about her fictional past as she sliced a piece of pie. “As the youngest daughter of a Texas oil tycoon, Daisy has expensive tastes. It’s a good thing Benji is a self made man.”

“My uncle was a used car salesman.”

“A _self made_ used car sales _man_ then.”

He rolled his eyes, holding the swinging door open for her. She stopped just at the threshold, dropping the dramatic act for a split second, looking earnestly at him. “Everything is going to be fine.”


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I JUST caught up on the most recent episodes... as someone who watches far too much abc family stuff, i can say, i saw the brother love triangle thing coming a mile away and i hate/love it (as long as josh and gabi are endgame mkay)**

It was quiet in Josh's childhood bedroom. The penthouses provided its own kind of privacy, but the quiet there was insulated, like the life outside was being held at bay by money and steel. Here he heard the sound of wind rustling the trees outside the window and the crickets chirping in the dark. Every once in awhile there was the hum of a car driving past on the narrow street.

Life quietly pulsed through the house, the glowing yellow warmth of the kitchen riding along the bones of the structure, spreading out across the soft colors of the walls. He missed it here more than he cared to admit. He'd always thought he'd find this again, that he'd marry some lovely girl and buy a house in somewhere in the rolling hills of southern California. His apartment in the middle of the city was convenient, sure, but it was missing a certain coziness.

He sometimes got flashes of the feeling he yearned for. Usually early in the morning when the rising sun shot bright rays through the sliding glass doors. The sight of Gabi humming softly to herself at the kitchen island would stop him mid-stride. The golden illumination setting her aglow, skin radiant, hair shining like a beacon. He'd known many beautiful women in his life. Hell, for the past ten years they'd practically been throwing themselves at him, but this was different. In that specific moment before she looked his way, head dipped down concentrating on the dish in front of her, he could imagine a lifetime of moments like this... When she did finally look at him on those mornings, she always greeted him with the widest smile, genuine pleasure suffusing her features. On more than a few occasions he'd been caught out, frozen breathless staring at her for the briefest of moments. It as when his heart was unguarded and he could admit to himself that he was still stupidly in love with her.

He could hear her unfettered laughter floating up the stairs, his mother joining in almost immediately. It made him smile. Caroline had been so different. He'd only heard her titter behind her slender hand a few times, choosing instead to utter, "That's so funny, Josh," whenever she was amused. The small smirk and the delicate lift of a finely arched eyebrow always made him wonder if she was laughing at him or with him.

Gabi was helping his mother clean up, packing away leftovers and clean dishes as Nurse Peters looked on with a bemused look. He could feel the camraderie even all the way upstairs. His mother took to Gabi instantly, or rather Daisy. Their laughter was a pleasant but unexpected surprise.

They'd pushed him out of the kitchen, urging him to go upstairs and get back to his work, assuring him they would be quite fine on their own. It was strange, feeling the responsibility of holding up the sham of his mother's reality taken from his shoulders, even if for a brief moment. The nurse he paid was wonderful, in her own right, but there was always an element of affection missing from that relationship.

He blinked, eyes suddenly tired. He couldn't focus on the symbols and letters filling the screen in front of him. He'd been staring at the same piece of code for the last twenty minutes, mind wandering uselessly. He leaned back in his chair, the wheels squeaking as he pushed away from the desk. He was too distracted for this.

Gabi being here had to mean something, didn't it? For the first time in months he felt hope fluttering in his chest. It had been her decision to walk away from the potential between them, and he wanted more than anything to respect her wishes, but... a friend didn't fly halfway across the country just because you didn't answer their phone call. He pulled the device from his pocket, finger hovering over the screen. He had half a dozen voicemails, some of which undoubtedly were from her. He bit his bottom lip, trying to decide whether or not to listen to them.

Elliot's face flashed on his screen, phone buzzing in his hand. He nearly dropped the device, jumping like he'd been zapped. He pushed away the feelings that had been festering only moments before, affecting a cheerful tone. "Elliot! What's up?"

"Has blonde Yoko made it there yet? You have to tell me... does she look like a hobo, unwashed and shiftless? Send me a picture. I need a new screensaver. Yolanda keeps deleting the one I have of her drooling all over one of your throw pillows."

"A hobo? What are you talking about?"

"The rigors of railway travel are  _not_ kind to those who require a lot of time in front of the mirror in the morning."

"Railway travel? Gabi took the train here? All the way from San Francisco?"

"Well, duh, she's broke. You didn't think she bought a last minute plane ticket, did you?" Elliot snorted. "You'd think with the absurd salary you pay her she'd be able to save some money, but nope it all goes into her hooker shoes and knock off handbags… or blenders or something."

Josh felt a little twinge of guilt. It had been a very long time since the expense of traveling had even crossed his mind. He wondered what kind of sacrifice Gabi was making for this little trip. "God, she must be exhausted. When did she leave?"

Josh could almost hear Elliot rolling his eyes. "Josh, focus please. We were talking about me."

"We were?"

"No, but we are now. I was wondering, where do you keep the key to the liquor cabinet."

Josh sighed. "Ask Yolanda. She's the only one who ever uses it."

"Yolanda? Ugh."

With that, the line went silent, leaving Josh sitting awkwardly with his phone to his cheek, still thinking about the trouble Gabi had gone through to see him.

That's how she found him, open-mouthed, phone to his ear. She sashayed through the door, grin on her face, bursting at the seams with her fake southern persona. "Well, Benjamin, looks like all the-"

She stopped when she saw him, mouth snapping shut, eyes wide. Sheepishly whispering, "Oh, you're on the phone… sorry."

She started to tiptoe out of the room, but Josh darted up out of his chair, dropping his phone in the process. Hooking his hand in the crook of her arm, he pulled her back into the room gently. "Gabi…"

His voice was soft, one notch above a whisper. He could see the gears in her head turning, the expression on her face suddenly serious. Her lips parted a fraction of an inch, chest rising as she took in a short little breath. "Josh?"

He could kiss her. All he had to do was ask. She knew it was coming, blue eyes wide as she stared up at him. He lost his nerve, embarrassment crashing over him in buffeting waves. Yes, of course he could ask, and then he would suffer her soft hearted sympathy, rejected for the second time in less than a year.

He dropped the grip he had on her arm, taking a step out of her personal bubble. He'd been standing close enough to smell her perfume, the light flowery scent mingling with the bright citrus of her favorite shampoo. He wondered if it would linger in his room long after she left. "Um.. so… What's the plan?"

"The plan?"

He nodded, leaning against his desk as nonchalantly as possible. He wasn't sure it was all that convincing. He crossed his arms for good measure. "Yeah… when does your train back to California leave?"

He could tell he caught her by surprise, the truth spilling from her lips before she had a chance to concoct a story. "Next week." She bit her bottom lip, looking up at him through her lashes. "Is that okay?"

"Of course it's okay… I just don't know why you're here."

Her eyes dropped, unable to hold his gaze. "I'm not quite sure either… I.. I guess I just missed you."

"Gabi, I've been gone less than two weeks."

"It's not just since you've been here… Since I got back from Switzerland, it's like you're a million miles away."

He let out a long breath, relaxing his confident facade. "Well… It looks like you're not gonna be able to get me out of your hair for the next week." He swallowed, feeling exposed. "I'm sorry about the distance. I just needed some time."

She nodded. "I think I knew that… somewhere in the back of my mind."

Her little half smile made his heart constrict painfully in his chest. He opened his mouth to respond, but she unwittingly cut him off, laughing as she said. "I have impulse control issues… as you well know. You've seen how much butter I put on my waffles in the morning."

There it was again, that easiness he'd been missing. He felt his shoulders relax, a corresponding smile spreading across his face. "I sure have."

"So… where am I sleeping?"

"I'm assuming you'll be stuck in my brother's old room."

Nodding, she reached out and took his hand. "Lead the way." Tugging him along, she said. "I guess it's a good thing Benji and Daisy never got married… Your mother would expect us to share a bed. That would be aaaaawkard."

Josh was glad Gabi couldn't see the crimson flush creeping up his neck. His eyes flashed as he watched her move ahead of him. A week wasn't a long time, not in the real world, but in this alternate universe where they were playing affianced lovers... it was going to be an eternity.


	5. Chapter 5

Gabi couldn’t sleep, not without the comforting lull of traffic in the street, the muffled pitter patter of her upstairs neighbor doing zumba well after midnight. Josh’s childhood home was too quiet. She could hear crickets for pete’s sake, like it was some movie about pioneers traipsing across the great unknown. It was unsettling.

She snatched the pillow out from underneath her, holding it over her head to block out the silence. The sound of her own breath echoed in her ears for a few minutes like whooshing ocean noises, but it was a hot and uncomfortable way to try and sleep. Eventually she gave up, leaning over to switch on the bedside lamp.

The weak light cast the room in a pale yellow glow, bouncing off the accoutrements of a teen boy’s room. This particular teen boy, Josh’s brother, had left his little nest years ago. The poster’s on the walls a testament to his passion for music. Gabi scooted out of the bed, tiptoeing up to Jacob Kaminski’s bookshelves. They were packed with records, collecting dust on the rough hewn shelves. This room was so different from Josh’s, the disorder having a strange logic. Josh’s room was neat as a pin, books pulled up to the edge of the shelves, spines exactly flush with one another, strategically placed nerdling figurines here and there, but never too many to clutter the place up. This was more her speed. If she knocked something over in here, no one would be the wiser.

Her eyes were drawn to a pair of drum sticks shoved haphazardly between a leaning stack of CD’s and a dusty lava lamp. They slid from their resting spot quietly, cool against her fingertips. She gently tapped them on the exposed surfaces of Jake’s desk, humming to herself as she moved along.

There were pictures here and there. One of Josh caught her attention. He was an awkward looking and chubby adolescent, broad smile beaming as he piloted a remote control helicopter over the trees in their backyard. His brother’s face was turned upward, watching with barely contained awe as the thing ascended higher and higher. Gabi touched the photo, round fingernail tracing the outline of Josh’s smiling face. The corners of her mouth turned up, mimicking the expression.

Eventually Gabi had explored all she could in the dim recesses of the small bedroom. She tucked the sticks under one arm and slipped into the hall, looking both ways before she crept toward the living room.

She froze when she heard noises, muffled and tinny sounds bouncing off the walls down the hall. The flickering blue glow told her someone was watching late night television. A noble pursuit in her opinion. She had half a mind to join them.

Unfortunately, the preternatural quiet of the Kaminski home had her feeling more than a little spooked, and her mind was already manufacturing possible ghostly scenarios. She’d seen far too many episode of Ghost Hunters to be completely convinced that there was a corporeal person chilling in the living room at three a.m.

She held the drum sticks up like they were nunchucks, prepared to dissipate any bored ghost watching late night infomercials. She came up behind the couch, walking as silently as possible. Years of pranking Sofia had given Gabi a sneaky edge. She intuitively knew which boards would squeak, avoiding them with her sock clad feet.

When she got up to the couch, all she could see was the back of some snoring figure’s head, glossy brown curls messy with the remnants of sleep. Sure, it was probably Josh, but one couldn’t be too careful when dealing with possible ghosts. Maybe the real Benjamin had come to exact his revenge for their impersonations. Hand shaking, she used one of the sticks to ruffle the hair. No response, but at least she knew he was a real person, and therefore she was ninety nine percent sure it was Josh.

Her shoulders relaxed, and she tiptoed the rest of the way around the couch. There he was, snoring as the glare of the television illuminated his slack features. She plopped down beside him and nudged him with her shoulder, smiling sweetly when the movement roused him. He stared at her in confusion, eyes hooded with exhaustion before they blinked it away. “Gabi? What time is it?”

He was so adorable in his confusion. She couldn’t resist the urge to run her fingers through his hair quickly, pushing it back from his forehead. “Suuuuper late.” 

He responded to her touch like a sleepy child, leaning into the caress, eyes fluttering shut again. “Why are you up?” He asked her groggily, sliding down until his head was resting on her shoulder.

She shrugged, letting the drum sticks clatter to the floor. “Couldn’t sleep. This place is too quiet.”

He nodded against her. “Sometimes I miss it, though, being able to hear the world breathing.”

Gabi wrinkled her nose in amusement. He seemed punch drunk in this half asleep state, simultaneously making no sense and seeming strangely poetic. She cocked her head to the side, attempting to filter out the sound of the television to hear what he did. “I guess so…”

He mumbled against the cotton of her pajama top. “I bet Benji would have lived in a cozy house… with Daisy.” He sounded wistful, and it tugged at her.

She cleared her throat uncomfortably. “Cozy houses are creepy.”

It was a lie. She could get used to the quiet. It was like the constant thrum of the city were as palpable as anxiety sometimes. A break was nice. Josh began to snore, the sound tickling as it vibrated against her. She found herself smiling again. He was strangely sweet in this vulnerable state. Artists across the world probably knew how disarming the sight of eyelashes fanned out against a high cheekbone was, but it was new to Gabi, making her chest constrict as she looked down on him. She’d seen him frazzled, and she’d seen him oozing self confidence from his very pores, but she’d never quite seen him with all his walls down.

She fought the urge to sink into fantasy, to pretend that this was their house, and that they were watching TV after a long day of doing this or that, finding their way back to each other in the evenings. She lost the fight, skimming her fingers down the line of his arm, finally capturing his hand in hers. She kissed him on the top of the head, patting down the wayward strands of hair.

Suddenly all of her previous objections to a life with him seemed so far away, like balloons being carried away on the gusting wind, getting smaller and smaller as they disappeared in the distance. Maybe it was just the result of this feeling, sitting here with him in the half-dark, feeling so warm against him. Maybe she would feel different in the harsh light of day, when her dreams for herself outweighed the yearning in her heart.

She was still undecided, and she couldn’t even begin to figure out where his feelings had taken him. Drawing her legs up beneath her, she curled toward him. They would have to talk about these things at some point, but right now she felt tired, pleasantly so, her eyelids dropping closed as Jack LaLanne extolled the virtues of drinking all the vegetables in the world.

**A/N: Thanks for reading (the few who have :P). Comments mean the world to me. They really make my day.. hint... not so subtle... hint.**


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